My Whole Life's Like Some Test
by writerchic90
Summary: A Hernst story from before anyone dies. Most of the characters will be involved in varying degrees. Please enjoy!
1. Chapter 1: Latin

_Why did he offer to walk me home?_ Ernst Robel wondered for the twentieth time that night as he tried to focus on his Latin translations. He wasn't anything special; just a weak little boy who can easily fade into the background.

Hanschen Rillow, on the other hand, was the second smartest in the class, next to Melchior. Second most attractive too. The only reason Georg, Otto and Moritz had chances with any of the girls is because Hanschen is a little intimidating with his straw blonde hair, strong jaw line and fine broad shoulders. Melchi was smaller, more like the rest of them, and had a kind face; that's what drew Ernst towards him. But something about Hanschen was so… so… so mysterious. It beat out Melchior's unpredictableness any day.

Not that this really mattered. Ernst could only be acquaintances with them. He was the second worst student in class, thanks to Moritz. It wasn't that Ernst didn't know his Latin or how to do quadratic equations (though they did give him a bit of a headache). He just didn't speak well in front of others, especially his classmates. They made him nervous. Especially Hanschen. There was just something about him that threw everything Ernst knew out the window; religion, Latin, school.

Giving up on his Latin for the night, Ernst put on his pajamas and climbed into bed. He hoped that his mind would clear and he'd be able to finish his homework in the morning.

When Ernst woke up the next morning, he didn't feel any better. He'd had trouble sleeping. All he could think about was Hanschen. Occasionally Melchior would make an appearance, but only for a moment. Then it was right back to Hanschen. It was horrible and made Ernst feel so awful to think of the things he'd dreamt about; Hanschen in his arms, he in Hanschen's, how full Hanschen's lips were… no, he mustn't remember. And to make matters worse, he woke up late with unfinished Latin. He'd have to live without breakfast. Such were the sacrifices made for sinners. Christ was crucified; certainly Ernst could go without a meal.

He quickly sat at his desk overlooking the vineyard and focused on finishing his Latin. There were always bad consequences when a student didn't finish their work; Moritz always found that out the hard way.

"Ernst, you're going to be late," his mother called up the stairs as he was pushing his books into his bag. There would be no time for Bible reading this morning.

Ernst flew down the stairs and right out the door, saying goodbye as he passed his mother.


	2. Chapter 2: The Apple

E/N I am humbled by all these wonderful reviews were given to the first part of my saga. It's far from over and may take time to be completed.

A/N I second Ernst's thoughts. And I don't have much work this week, so I'll try to update frequently. But it will probably get more spaced out since I have a bunch due next week. And I love hearing what people think of my writing; it's my favorite part. So please, feel free to give your opinions. And the only SA thing I own is the soundtrack from iTunes, just so you know.

Ernst ran through the vineyard (it was the shortest path to school). He was almost at the edge when something caught his eye. No, it was a _someone_.

Hanschen was standing there as if _waiting_ for him to get to school. "Cutting it a little close this morning Ernst?" he asked with that smug grin on his face that drove Ernst wild.

"A little," Ernst managed to squeak.

"Did the Latin due you in too?" Hanschen chuckled.

"Y-y-yes" he said after a short pause. He was running late because he had to finish his Latin.

"Have breakfast yet?" he asked.

"N-n-no. I'm going without this morning," Ernst replied shocked by Hanschen interest in him.

"Why don't you have my apple? I'm not too fond of them anyway and you'll need the energy to stay focused."

In complete shock, Ernst stretched out his hand towards the red delicious apple Hanschen was offering him. Their fingers touched and Ernst felt a spark ignite inside of him. His repressed dreams from the night before appeared in the forefront of his mind.

Lucky for Ernst, Hanschen walked away as soon as the apple was in Ernst's hands. "You're welcome," he said as he walked away.

Ernst did not even hear him, he was too busy chastising himself for letting theses thoughts control him. He was no better than Moritz after all.

He ate the apple anyway, even though he considered starving himself as punishment, and sat watching his classmates interact.

Melchior was looking over Moritz's attempted Latin, but mostly just rewriting his onto Moritz's paper. Such a thoughtful boy who cared about his friend. Moritz was probably going on about his dreams from the night before. Ernst had overheard them whispering in class. Legs in sky blue stockings climbing over the podium. Such a peculiar idea.

Hanschen had walked over to where Georg and Otto were standing, probably talking about girls or food. That's all they seemed to care about. Georg had a thing for his piano teacher, we all heard his stories. But deep down, I think he liked Anna. He was always a little protective of her and treated her with a bit more kindness and patience than the rest of us. Otto's favor was always a mystery. We knew he liked his mama, but he'd probably like Thea if he would look around every once in a while.

All the girls wanted Melchior (He didn't blame them) except Martha and Ilse who seemed to prefer Mortiz in his confusion. Ernst only knew this because the girls accepted him as their friend. Sometimes they'd get to play together after he finished school, if his homework wasn't too pressing. It was always so much fun.

The bells chimed marking the hour that class was set to begin. He tossed the finished apple into the vineyard knowing it would decompose and headed towards the building, praying that he could be more like Melchior or Hanschen today. But they couldn't control themselves either, so This task would become impossible seeing as Hanschen had waited and held the door open for Ernst to walk indoors. So much for being good.

A/N I think I'm going to start throwing in random bits of info about me at the end of each chapter. It seems like fun. Like BOL is my top played song on my iPod. I have a feeling it always will be.

Enjoy the story and please R&R 


	3. Chapter 3: Dancing

A/N In celebration of one of my papers being moved, I decided I'd add a little more to the story. I only have 3 more weeks of school, so hopefully I'll find some time to write and then I can finish after finals. Again thanks for the reviews, I really do appreciate them.

Classes were bad that day. Moritz hadn't gotten his homework done; too many dreams apparently. And Ernst had been too busy trying to not stare at Hanschen that he hadn't heard when his teachers had called on him and he had gotten struck by even his favorite professor. And he still couldn't pay attention. Hopefully some scripture reading by the stream and playing with the girls would distract him.

He had just sat down when he heard voices coming towards him. He hoped they'd just pass and leave him be. No such luck.

"Why do you even bother Ernst?" Melchi asked him. "It's all pointless anyway. Just adults trying to control us."

"I…I like church," he finally settled upon.

"As if that isn't obvious," Hanschen said, sitting himself next to Ernst. Apparently no more Biblle reading would be done.

Melchior sat on Ernst's other side as Ernst cursed humanity for tempting him so much. They all took out their homework and began on the mathematics that would take Ernst the longest to complete.

In the distance, the boys could hear some of the girls talking and giggling.

"Melchior Gabor, he's such a radical."

Melchi chuckled at this as did Hanschen. Ernst was too busy feeling sorry for Thea because she didn't know they were listening.

"Radical? Hmm… I guess not letting the adults control you is radical," Melchi said amused.

"Well, Herr Gabor, since you have the girls falling at your feet, which one will you show affection to?" Hanschen chided, but oddly interested for Hanschen.

"Wendla," Ernst responded without thinking.

"How do you know?" Melchior asked, turning to Ernst.

"You've always been close with her and Ilse isn't your type. You're too similar." After Ernst said this he clasped a hand over his mouth. Since when did he babble?

Melchior was about to respond when the girls became visible. Ernst let out a sigh of relief. He wouldn't reveal any more secrets he knew.

"Hi," Ilse said being the boldest of the girls.

Ernst waved enthusiastically, happy that the conversation wouldn't continue.

Seeing Ernst, Ilse rushed over, helped him off the ground and pulled him into a playful waltz. They laughed happily, having fun and forgetting their troubles.

Out of the corner of his eye, Ernst could see Anna and Thea spinning in circles with their dresses flying. Martha had headed towards home as soon as she saw the boys sitting there, afraid of what might happen if her parents found out where she was. He also saw Melchior swaying back and forth with Wendla, barely an acceptable distance apart. Hanschen, of course, was still sitting with his back against the tree trunk observing everyone in their fun. Ernst was like Hanschen in that respect, he was always observing. Like how Ilse had a new bruise on her leg, probably from her father. And how Hanschen rarely joined in any of their games. How Moritz was always on edge and how Otto and Georg were oblivious to most things. He also saw how Martha was more like Ilse than the girls could guess.

"Hanschen is staring at you," Ilse cooed into Ernst ear, interrupting his thoughts.

"W-what?" he asked, finding this impossible to believe.

"He's watching us dance more closely than everyone else, just thought you'd like to know," she said, as if it meant nothing. How had she even guessed that he'd be remotely interested in that fact? He was of course, but still, he shouldn't be.

With that Ernst began to wonder what Hanschen was thinking at that moment, watching him dance with Ilse.

A/N So, random fact for this post: I always picture Johnny B. Wright and Gideon as Hernst when I read fanfic. For some reason, they fit the picture better. But I am a fan of the Ben/Andy pairing of the tour.

Also, if you're bored and want some more reading material, I could send some of the stories I've written for my classes this semester. Just leave your e-mail in a comment, as long as you don't plagiarize my stories (not that I think anyone would, but just saying). Thanks for reading!!!!!


	4. Chapter 4: Sleepover

A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I've had essays and stories for classes to write and they kinda drain me creatively. And I have finals for the next week and a half, so I may or may not update for a while. But as soon as I get home, I plan on posting for a couple days consecutively to make up for it. I'm glad you've enjoyed everything so far and hope you continue to. And getting feedback is my favorite part. And the only thing SA I own is the soundtrack, unfortunately.

Having wasted the entire afternoon playing with the girls, Ernst was forced to spend his evening struggling with homework. His mind just kept drifting to that afternoon.

He danced with all of the girls; each begging for their turn with him. It was like they were trying to help him hide his secret and make him a ladies' man all at the same time.

As a joke, both Melchior and Hanschen started begging to dance with him to. Flustered, he agreed and got to spend 7 amazing minutes in the arms of the people he was attracted to. Melchi was joking the entire time and quickly switched, so he could go back to Wendla.

Hanschen, on the other hand, danced with him for some time and even let him lead, unlike Melchior. It was like heaven. Hanschen even acted like a perfect gentleman for once instead of being the cynic he typically was. He even seemed to be enjoying himself dancing with Ernst. At least that's what Ilse had told him on their way home.

A light tap on his window brought Ernst out of his reflecting. He looked outside and saw Ilse staring at him.

"Ilse! What are you doing here? It's past 10."

"I'm running away from home. I can't stand to be there anymore. Please Ernst, let me stay here tonight."

Ernst thought for a moment. He could get in trouble for letting Ilse into his room, but he couldn't let her sleep outside. "Alright."

Ilse climbed through the window and Ernst helped her over his desk. She gave him a giant hug as soon as her feet touched the floor. "Thank you so much Ernst. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Not a problem Ilse. Just don't let my parents find out."

"I'll be gone before they wake."

"But where will you go?"

"To the artists' colony. I always did enjoy drawing when I got the chance."

"As long as you'll be safe."

"It'll be safer than my house anyway. Now, if I could just have a blanket to curl up on the floor with…"

"No Ilse. Sleep in my bed. I have homework to do anyway, so I won't get much sleep."

"But Ernst, it's your bed. I couldn't deprive you of it. Why don't you climb in with me once you're done?"

"I s-suppose I could do that," he said, even though the thought frightened him.

Ilse crawled into his bed leaving enough room for him to snuggle up next to her. Ernst knew he would get no more work done that night, so in his uniform, he climbed into bed.

Ernst lay on his side and Ilse cuddled up right next to him. It would have been awkward except that he was not attracted to Ilse. She was one of his closest friends. It almost felt right even. Ernst put his arm around Ilse in a protective way and drifted off to sleep.

A/N: My favorite character from the show is Moritz. I love his soliloquy before "Left Behind." It's so beautiful.

And I have a livejournal now where I've been posting some of my other stories and will post this one there too at some point. .com/.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the chapters so far. Please let me know what you think.


	5. Chapter 5: Left Behind

**A/N** **So, finals are over and I've been home for three weeks and I bought myself the SA bible, which is partly why I haven't written. The other part is that I just haven't. Oops. But I plan on trying to write something at least every week for each of my stories. We'll see how that goes. (Probably better since I know what happens in the next chapter too and want to write it soon.) As always, thank you for the good reviews**. **This note is long enough… I don't own SA, except for the soundtrack (which I love dearly).**

Ernst woke up the next morning to find himself alone and his window opened slightly. Ilse had apparently gone. Hours ago too, since the spot where she had been sleeping was cool. He hoped that she would be okay. Ilse was the only one who seemed to understand Ernst and all of the peculiar urges he was experiencing.

Slowly, Ernst crawled out of his bed and closed his window. He hadn't even taken a step before he turned back around and cracked it again. Just in case Ilse needed someplace to go. He could never deny Ilse what she wanted, even if that meant breaking all of the rules. Once they had even camped out all night after Ernst's parents had said no because Ilse wanted to. She just had a way to persuade him.

"Ernst, are you up?" his mother called from downstairs.

"Yes Mama. I'm just getting dressed. I'll be down in a moment," he replied, quickly throwing on his school uniform. That was one nice thing; he never had to really think about what to wear.

When he got downstairs, there were pastries for breakfast. Ernst thanked God that he had managed to struggle through enough of his homework that he did not need to repeat his rushed breakfast like yesterday. He sat down with a glass of fresh milk and ate 2 apple pastries before he had to rush towards the school house.

He made it to school just in time to walk straight into the classroom without having to speak to anyone. He somehow found his way through all of his classes without being called out by his instructors, despite his constant worrying about Ilse. He knew why she wanted to get away from home and, more importantly, her father. The one thing Ernst did not know is exactly what happened and why it was so bad for boys and girls to be together.

Moritz did not have Ernst's luck. During Latin he admitted to being plagued by dreams again, at least to Melchior. Herr Sonnestich caught them chatting and disciplined the outbreak in his usual strict manner.

As soon as they were dismissed, Ernst grabbed his things as fast as he could. He wanted to see if he could find Ilse and make sure she was alright.

However before Ernst could get to the door, Hanschen stopped him.

"May I walk you home today Ernst? We can review our Latin," he propositioned with an evil smirk crossing his face.

"I-I-I s-s-suppose," Ernst answered, unnerved by that smirk. There were just too many meanings behind it.

Hanschen smiled and led the way out of the room. They had just entered into the schoolyard when Ernst noticed he was missing his Bible. He made his excuses to Hanschen and went back into the classroom to find Moritz and Melchior. As quietly as possible, Ernst sneaked in to eavesdrop.

Moritz was asking Melchior to explain the "facts of life." Melchior settled into his chair to explain everything in great detail. Ernst too prepared for a long answer to this eternal question.

Moritz, however, could not stand that kind of pressure. Instead, he asked Melchi to write it all down in an essay before he fled the room.

Melchior was about to leave the room when he saw someone out of the corner of his eye.

"Eavesdropping Ernst?" he questioned, a smug, superior expression on his face.

"I-I-I just came for my Bible," he replied, not able to meet his eyes.

Melchior went over to where Ernst's Bible was laying and handed it over to Ernst. He was about to leave when Ernst said something.

"C-could you make another copy of that essay?" he asked, turning bright red as he flushed with embarrassment.

Melchior smiled a mischievous grin. "I suppose I could."

"Thank you," Ernst replied, rushing out of the room to catch up with Hanschen. He had to find a way to convince Hanschen to help him find Ilse.

Melchior watched him go, wondering how many of his peers he would end up educating.

**A/N I know I'm kinda messing with the timeline, but I hope you'll forgive me for that. Please let me know what you think, it can only make me want to write more. Enjoy!**

**Funfact: I am planning on going to see the show in Chicago, for the FIRST time! I'm so excited!!! I just hope Ben, Andy, and Blake are still there! **


	6. Chapter 6: The Essay

A/N Sorry it took so long to update, I've been babysitting. Thanks for the rave reviews! I think I have about 7 more chapters. Pretty long, I know, but I think it's worth it. Now on with the story!!! I only own the awesomeness that is the cast recording and the book, for those who were wondering.

Ernst could barely sleep that night with the anticipation about finally understanding everything in the next 24 hours. After hours of attempting to drift off, he decided to give up and spend his night studying.

When even Latin could not distract him, Ernst turned to his Bible. The only real escape he had. He read through both Genesis and Exodus before it was time for him to get dressed for school.

Ernst rushed out the door as soon as he could and raced to the school yard. He knew he would not get to read the essay until after class, but just having it in his possession would calm his nerves.

Melchior was somehow able to avoid speaking to Ernst the entire day, but by the end of their final class, Ernst found the essay tucked inside of his bag.

Excitement built up in Ernst faster than he expected. There was no way he could wait until he was safe in his room to discover the truth within those pages.

Hiding the essay in his Latin book, Ernst headed to the one place he could always go to when he wanted to: the vineyard.

He settled down with his back against a tree and stretched out. Just as Ernst opened the essay to begin reading, he heard a semi-familiar voice.

"What are you doing Ernst?"

"Hanschen!?!" Ernst said a little loud from being startled. He snapped closed the book to conceal the essay.

"Did I startle you? I guess I should learn how to walk like a human instead of a pussycat," he smirked down at the seated boy. "Would you like some assistance?"

"No! Um… I mean, I work best alone."

"Which is why you are barely passing Latin. It is easier to practice Latin with a partner," Hanschen said as he seated himself next to Ernst.

"I s-suppose I could use a bit of help," Ernst admitted defeated. He would have to wait to know the mystery of life.

Hanschen took the book from Ernst hands and opened it to the page that was hiding the essay.

"What's this?"

"Nothing! Just a note from my mother," he said reaching for the essay.

"I would never expect this kind of not from your mother," Hanschen chuckled as he skimmed the essay and saw the illustrations. "In fact, this looks more like Melchior's handwriting."

"Well… maybe it is," Ernst said as he grabbed the essay from Hanschen's grip.

"So Gabor is educating our class on the way of life? Interesting. I'm sure every parent will be thrilled by this," Hanschen said as he stood.

"Hanschen, please do not tell," Ernst begged from his spot on the ground.

"Why?"

"Because we will never know anything if Melchior is expelled. Please keep quiet," Ernst pleaded once he shifted to his knees.

"For your sake I will not say anything, but it shall cost you someday."

"Thank you Hanschen," Ernst said smiling up at the handsome blonde.

Hanschen began to saunter away as Ernst readjusted himself to read the essay.

"Just know that Gabor does not know everything," Hanschen called back towards the young boy.

Ernst watched him walk away and Hanschen knew that Ernst would not be a boy for much longer.

A/N I like how this turned out. It kinda makes me giggle. I hope you enjoyed it!

And… my friend and I have stage seats for August 5!!! We'll be surrounded by cast members and all of our favorites sit in one of the seats next to us!!! So excited!!!!!


	7. Chapter 7: The Essay's Aftermath

**A/N Boredom and no plans = more writing. Lol. Enjoy! And reviews make my day!!!**

Ernst barely made it through school the next day. He read the essay sitting underneath the tree and sat there til the sun began to set trying to absorb all of the information. When he got home he went straight to his room so he could avoid even looking at his mother. Just the thought of what his parents had done and how it all seemed to work sent his head spinning.

Ernst spent his entire night trying to block all of the information out and sleep, but it was impossible. He told himself that he would never do that to any of the girls. The thought of any of his friends in pain terrified him. Most of them have enough pain in their lives without … well, you know.

Ernst fled from his home like he did the morning before, hoping that school would be an escape from the confusion in his mind. Unfortunately, it only caused more questions to surface.

One glance around the schoolyard and Ernst saw how their lives would end up. Melchior would try to change the things he though wrong, Otto and Georg would do what was expected of them, and Hanschen would do whatever he decided to. Moritz was nowhere to be found, his night must have been as difficult as Ernst's had been.

"So Ernst, how was your reading last night?" Hanschen asked approaching him.

"F-f-fine," he replied, making the mistake of looking into Hanschen eyes. Ernst quickly looked down at his shoes. They would be the only safe place to look all day.

Hanschen chuckled. Poor Ernst was clearly distraught by all of this reality. "Do not fear. You will forget all about it soon enough. Or you will come to accept it."

"How would you know? You did not read the essay," Ernst said, looking up again as he gained courage from either being angered, annoyed, or sleep deprived.

"I was unfortunate enough to walk into my parents' bedroom without acknowledging my presence a few years ago. My father was forced to explain everything to me," Hanschen admitted, showing a faint hint of shame.

"Oh." Ernst blushed at the thought of Hanschen witnessing that act and then cringed at the possibility of his parents doing the same.

"We'd better get to class." Hanschen headed towards the door. Ernst watched him walk and then began to follow him.

Class became torture that day. Ernst's mind wandered from the information it gained the afternoon before to what might happen if it was not a man and a woman, but two men or two women. Ernst was so caught up in his thoughts that he did not notice when one class ended and the next began. He was beaten thrice for not knowing the answer to whatever question was asked of him. His mind just kept drifting to that sacred act between a man and his wife.

When the day finally ended, Ernst could not force himself to go home. Instead he went back to the vineyard and sat under the same tree as he had the previous afternoon. And as the afternoon before, Ernst was not left alone with his thoughts.

"Hello Ernst," Melchior said with Hanschen following closely behind.

"Hello," Ernst said meekly.

"How did you like the essay?" Melchior questioned.

"It was… very informative," Ernst said, blushing. "Thank you."

Melchior laughed at his meek reply. "I can answer any question you have," he offered.

"That's alright. I have learned enough already."

"Suit yourself. But you can always come to me if you would like to," Melchior offered as he headed towards his home.

Hanschen, however, sat himself beside Ernst like he did the day before. He did not say anything and Ernst appreciated it. He liked to think in silence.

Eventually Ernst's mind grew tired of thinking about the essay and he took out his homework. Hanschen did the same and they both finished their work before sunset when they headed their separate ways home.

Ernst forced himself to act normal around his parents that night and managed to pull through well enough. But that night Ernst though of the past two afternoons and how they were spent and who they were spent with. Ernst finally got some well deserved sleep, but not without his dreams being filled with a blue-eyed blonde and details from the essay.

**A/N I know, kind of a dull chapter. But the next few should be good, so suffer through. I want to finish this story before I continue with the other and I'll probably update soon since I don't have many plans for this week. **

**Top 5 Musicals: Spring Awakening, Bare, Next to Normal, RENT , and Les Miserables. The sad thing is I've only actually seen 1 of them. Lol. But I have seen video versions of 3 others. **


	8. Chapter 8: The Razor

**A/N Thanks to all who reviewed. I read every single one and deeply appreciate them. And now on to the next installment.**

The next few days passed by nearly uneventful. The essay began to slip further and further from Ernst's mind as he went back to his routines. He even began to do his homework in the vineyard every afternoon and was typically accompanied by Hanschen. Somehow the essay had brought them closer together. It was like they were actually friends instead of just classmates. The only real excitement was that Mortiz was passing, much to everyone's disbelief.

One afternoon about an hour after classes had resumed, Ernst was sitting alone in the vineyard. Hanschen had left 15 minutes ago, saying he had stomach problems (lol!). Ernst was deep in thought, concentrating on his Latin. It wasn't until he heard mumbling and slow footsteps that he looked up and saw Moritz.

"Hello Moritz," Ernst called.

Moritz jumped into the air. Clearly he had been deep in thought and startled by the sudden acknowledgement.

"Ernst! You startled me."

"Are you on your way home?"

"Yes. And you?"

"Just finishing up our Latin. I always have problems remembering it all."

"As do I."

"Why don't you join me?" Ernst offered, seeing that something was clearly wrong with Moritz. As if the dreams that plagued him and his troubles in school were not enough.

"I suppose I could for a moment." Moritz sat himself right beside Ernst, as if they were going to share the same book. The sudden closeness put Ernst on edge. Moritz typically separated himself from people.

They sat in silence as they looked over the page, each in their own world. Ernst could feel the awkwardness of the situation engulf him. Moritz always had an air of awkwardness surrounding him that tended to rub off on everyone he interacted with. Even Melchior would admit to it despite his affection for him. Ernst was torn between his desire to help and his desire to run from the confusion that had fallen between them. They both knew that the other experienced similar feelings and affections towards people.

"Moritz, is something the matter?" Ernst finally asked.

"Yes. I mean no! I just do not feel that school is for me anymore."

"Are you giving up so easily? We can help you pass. Between Hanschen and Melchior, you could pass with flying colors."

"No. It would not work. I am finished. With school at least. In fact, I had better get home."

"I understand. Will I see you again? I mean, since you are not going to school anymore."

"Perhaps. We shall see. Goodbye Ernst."

"Goodbye Moritz. I wish you the best of luck."

"Thank you. Honestly, thank you. You have helped more than you know."

"My pleasure. I am always available to help."

"Goodbye Ernst."

Moritz slowly walked towards his home. Ernst, perplexed by his encounter with Moritz, gave up on his Latin for now and prepared to head for home himself. As he stood, he noticed a knife lying by the tree where Moritz had sat. Ernst picked it up. He would give it back to Moritz the next time he saw him. There had to be some reason for Moritz to need a knife. He only hoped that the reason for its use would not be needed before he got the chance to return it.

**A/N A short chapter. And one I'm not sure I'm fully happy with. I'm thinking that 2ish chapters from now will be the lovely vineyard scene (Anyone else excited for that?). Reviews seriously make my day. **

**Oh, and I've been listening to some Next to Normal and have been contemplating some Natalie/Henry fanfic. I think they have real potential to be a cute couple. Input?**


	9. Chapter 9: The Letter

**A/N So boredom = more writing. Lol. And please substitute razor for knife from the last chapter, it will make more sense and be accurate later in the story. Well enough suspense, onto the fic! (Sorry, but it's a sad chapter. Blame SA because I have no influence over it. And if I did, Most of the guys would be sitting watching Enchanted with me.)**

Ernst tossed and turned in his sleep that night; he had a gut feeling that something was very wrong with Moritz.

Because of his lack of sleep, Ernst moved slowly that morning and was forced to race to school again. He was in such a hurry that he did not notice the note with his name on it set on his porch.

As he took his seat, Ernst looked around him to see what his classmates were doing. Otto and Georg were discussing what they typically do: food and girls. Hanschen had glanced at Ernst when he sat down and then stared off into space. Melchior kept glancing at Moritz's empty chair; he must have wondered where his friend was. Ernst told himself that he would enlighten Melchior after class despite how nervous Melchior made him. He would do it for Moritz.

Classes dragged on and on while Ernst's thoughts turned to his friends and their lives. Moritz would probably end up like Ilse, running away from home and barely heard from now that he was done with school. Melchior and Hanschen would probably leave their small town and do great things. Otto and Georg would marry each marry one of the girls and continue to do whatever their parents approved of. As for himself, Ernst was not entirely sure what he would do. He would probably do whatever his parent asked him to, whether he liked it or not.

Ernst was brought out of his thoughts as everyone around him started to move; school was over now. He saw Melchior hurrying out the door and did his best to catch up.

"Melchior!" Ernst called after him.

Melchior paused and waiting until Ernst was in earshot before he claimed he needed to go see Moritz and ran off.

Feeling a bit slighted, Ernst headed towards the vineyard. To his surprise, Hanschen was waiting for him.

Ernst sat down and took out his homework to attempt to get something accomplished, but he was too distracted with worry. He had not heard from Ilse since she ran away and now Moritz was having problems of his own. Ernst just knew he was.

"Something the matter Ernst?" Hanschen asked, staring at the young boy.

"Not particularly. Why do you ask?"

"You haven't done any of your work and you have been staring at nothing."

"Oh. I am just concerned for a few of our peers."

"Like who?"

"Ilse and Moritz mostly. Everyone else will be able to survive on their own. Or at least with their parents' assistance."

"Including myself?"

"Especially you. And Melchior. You're both smart enough and know enough to survive in the world on your own. It is the rest of us that will need help."

"I believe that you will do well on your own Ernst. Do not sell yourself short," Hanschen concluded as he rose and picked up his things.

"Thank you Hanschen."

Hanschen nodded his acknowledgement as he walked away. Ernst picked up his things as well and headed towards home. Perhaps he would try to find Ilse later to check up on her.

As he walked up the few stairs to the porch, he saw the letter with his name on it.

In his eagerness, Ernst tore it open and quickly read through it.

_Dear Ernst,_

_Thank you for all you have done. You truly are an amazing friend. However, I cannot continue to live with all of my failures. Know that you and Melchior were the ones who helped keep me going this long. Please help him through this difficult time. You are the only one who can. You have seen me for the final time._

_Moritz_

Ernst walked slowly into his house, confused by this letter. It was not until he heard his mother crying that he began to panic.

"Mama, what is wrong?"

"Oh Ernst, Moritz Steifel was found dead in the woods."

Shock set in and Ernst could not feel anything. He then ran up to his room and slammed the door. Falling on his bed, Ernst began sobbing for the friend that he could not help and was now gone. Forever.

**A/N So, originally I was going to add his funeral in this chapter too, but I wanted to get a new chapter up and this one is relatively long. And sorry if I misspelled Moritz's name. I don't have my book near me to double check on spellings. **

**Also, I've grown quite fond of the youtube videos I have found of the London cast. I really wish I could just meet every English-speaking Spring Awakening cast member. They just have to be that amazing. Lol. **


	10. Chapter 10: The First Funeral

**A/N So thank you again for the wonderful reviews. Does anyone else get insanely excited when they get any notification for ? lol. Well, enough stalling. Here's the next installment. Again, I apologize for it being sad, but I didn't write it or own it. If I did all of the actors would serenade me constantly. **

Classes were cancelled for the remainder of the week when the devastating news got around. Not that anyone would go except for maybe Otto and Georg. And probably Hanschen.

Ernst locked himself in his room for 2 days and refused to come out, even for food. Once he stopped crying, he just laid there in disbelief over what had happened.

The day before the funeral, someone came to visit Ernst. He was sitting under a large oak tree in his backyard when he heard footsteps. When he looked up, he could not believe his eyes.

"Hello Ernst."

"Hanschen, what brings you here?"

"I came to see how you were doing."

"Oh. Thank you for your concern," Ernst said as he glanced over Hanschen's shoulder.

"I see that my concern has reason to exist. Ernst, you look rather pale."

"I will live, Hanschen. I would like to be alone now."

"I am afraid I simply cannot allow that."

"Why not?" Ernst turned on him.

"Because you are clearly upset and I do not wish anything to happen to you."

"So? Why can I not be upset? Moritz is dead, Hanschen. DEAD. He is gone. Forever," Ernst said, holding back tears.

"Ernst, you were not very close with Moritz. Why is this bothering you so much? I mean, I understand why Melchior is a mess, but not you."

"Because I saw Moritz before he died. I talked to him. He told me he was quitting school. I never imagined he would … he would…" At this Ernst began to cry again.

Hanschen then realized the problem. Ernst had tried to help Moritz and had failed. Ernst was suffering from guilt.

"Ernst, you know that no one could help Moritz. Not Melchior. Not Ilse. Not Martha. Not even you," Hanschen said as he sat beside the weeping Ernst.

To acknowledge his help, Ernst leaned towards Hanschen. To his amazement, Hanschen pulled him closer so that Ernst's head was on his shoulder. Ernst continued to cry until all of the tears seemed to be gone.

"Thank you Hanschen."

"My pleasure little Ernst," he said as he stood and headed towards his home.

All of the children sat with their parents at the funeral. They were kept on very short leashes since the "incident." Everyone placed a flower into Moritz's grave. Standing next to it, Moritz's mother was crying softly. His father acted indifferent, but if you looked closely, you could see the faint tracks of tears on his cheeks. Melchior had not set foot inside of the church; he had waited outside, but he was there at Moritz's grave.

When the final rites were said, everyone began to depart. The children were all ushered to their homes. However, their parents did not expect them to sneak out and return to the cemetery.

Georg, Anna, Otto, Thea, Martha, Ilse, Hanschen, Ernst, Wendla, and Melchior all stood around Moritz's grave, grieving in their individual ways. When Anna and Thea began to cry, Georg and Otto offered their shoulders. Both Ilse and Martha were crying openly, as was Wendla. She kept her distance from Melchior, knowing how much hurt he must be experiencing.

One by one, they paid their last respects and sadly made their ways home. Otto and Thea were the first to leave shortly followed by Anna and Georg. Then, Ernst gave hugs to both Ilse and Martha as they left, knowing their fondness for Moritz was making his death harder on them. Hanschen took his leave after that, taking one final look at Ernst to make sure he was alright. Wendla left next after touching Melchior's shoulder with no response, leaving only Melchior and Ernst.

Ernst approached Melchior slowly, not knowing how emotional and erratical Melchior might react.

"Melchior," Ernst began, "I spoke with Moritz before he… before he… well, you know. He said he was quitting school. I never imagined that he would do something like this. I am so sorry that I was unable to stop him."

After saying this, Ernst waited a few moments to see if Melchior would say anything. When he did not, Ernst began to leave.

"It is not your fault Ernst. It is mine. I should have helped him more. I got distracted and he slipped through my fingers."

"It is not your fault either, Melchior. We could not save him, no matter how hard we tried."

"I can only hope that you are correct."

"I am," Ernst said, reassuringly. "Here," Ernst said, handing over Moritz's razor, "He would have wanted you to have it."

"Thank you Ernst."

"It is the best I can do to help," Ernst said as he left his companion behind, not knowing that he would never see him again either.

**A/N So… what did you think? It's one of my longest chapters and it's rather sad, but there's a bit of hope in it. And I apologize in advance because there will be another sad chapter or so, but I'm not sure if I'm going to write them first or the vineyard scene. Your opinions?**

**Funfact: I just sit down and start typing/writing. I never really know where my chapters or stories are going. Anyone else write like this?**


	11. Chapter 11: Puppets

**A/A First off, I am really sorry that I haven't updated in a while. I will try to not let it happen again. As always, thanks for the reviews. Now it's story time (insert "Ilse, story time.) Oh and I don't own Spring Awakening, though I'd be very, very happy if I did.**

Melchior only lasted one day more at school. Our professors had gone through Moritz's things and found a copy of Melchior's essay. He was called into the office after class had ended. Since Ernst had some idea of what Melchior was experiencing he lagged behind next to the trees outside of the schoolhouse.

When Melchior finally emerged, he had all of his possessions and a look that contained both disappointment and anger.

"Melchior?" Ernst said as he walked in his direction.

"Ernst, what are you still doing here?" he asked, surprise registering on his face.

"I- I just wanted to make sure everything was okay."

"Everything is as okay as a classmate being dead and another being expelled can be," Melchior said bitterly.

"They expelled you?"

"For that stupid essay! What are we supposed to do? They teach us nothing! It is not like Moritz died because- because…" Melchior looked down at his shoes, unable to continue. Despite knowing that he was not to blame, he still felt the guilt.

"They just do not want to overwhelm us," Ernst reasoned.

"No! They want us to be their puppets!" Melchior snapped. "Really Ernst, if you're going to follow their lead, you share the guilt in what becomes of everyone they affect. Including Moritz." At this, Melchior stormed towards his home, leaving Ernst in shock.

Once the shock wore off, the guilt set in. If Ernst was the adults' puppet, then he was to blame for Moritz's death. Without thinking, he made his way towards the cemetery.

Once he arrived, Ernst sank down next to Moritz's grave stone.

"I'm sorry," he whispered to the air after sitting for some time, hoping Moritz's spirit could hear. "I never meant for this to happen. I promise from now on that I will not let them control me or harm anyone else." Tears began to stream down Ernst's face as he realized that Moritz's could be only the first of them to die.

"Making promises to the dead?" a familiar voice asked from behind him.

"Why must you always creep up at the most inopportune times?" Ernst said in an attempt to hide his tears.

"Because I am Hanschen. It is what I do," he said as he knelt down to look at Ernst. "You're crying." Concern registered on Hanschen's face. He was afraid that Ernst would end up like Moritz soon if no one tried to help him.

"That seems to be happening more frequently than usual right now," Ernst said in another attempt to hide his emotions.

"Ernst, you cry when you have reason to. Now tell me what the cause is this time."

"No. I am perfectly fine. Please leave."

"I am afraid I cannot. Your mother sent me to find you. She was becoming worried when you did not come home. I told her that I would find you and take you home."

"I know my way home. You can leave now."

"I will not leave you alone."

"Why the hell not?" Ernst turned on him. "I am a horrible person! Just leave me here with the dead!"

"Ernst," Hanschen said gingerly as he sat down. "You are not horrible. You are one of the best friends any of us has."

"Then why is Moritz dead and why do I feel the guilt?" he replied in hysterics.

"Ernst, we already established that no one could save Moritz. You should not feel guilty, but you do because you feel like you could have saved him. It is who you are."

Again Hanschen went to embrace Ernst. The familiar contact calmed the young boy so that tears were slowly trailing down his cheeks.

"Melchior told me I was a puppet," Ernst said, when he could not stand the silence any longer.

"Melchior is acting like an ass. And he is wrong."

"Thank you Hanschen. You always seem to know how to make things clear to me."

"It comes with all of the time we have spent together. Now, we had better get you home before your mother has a heart attack."

"Good point. I do not want her to worry," he said as they both stood up and headed down the lightly worn path that led to their homes.

"Ernst, remind me to tell you about my theory on how the world works. I think you will appreciate mine more than Melchior's idea of puppets," Hanschen said with a smirk.

"I'm sure Melchior is just upset. Between Moritz and getting expelled. And I would like to hear your theory sometime."

Hanschen walked Ernst right up to his front door, which was opened before they were even 10 steps from the porch.

"Where have you too been?" she asked wrapping Ernst into a hug. "Do not scare me like that again, you hear me?."

"Yes Mama," Ernst said, feeling bad for making his mother worry.

"Hanschen, your parents have come over here because you were gone so long. Why don't you come in and join us for supper?"

"It would be my pleasure, Frau Robel."

Both families ate in joyful conversation. Not once were the tragic events of the past week mentioned. When the time came, everyone was saddened by the departure.

"Please come again soon," Frau Robel insisted to Frau Rilow.

"We will. Especially since our boys seem to get along so well."

"Goodnight Hanschen," Ernst said feeling a little embarrassed. He wanted to give Hanschen a hug, but did not think that it would be appropriate.

"Goodnight little Ernst," Hanschen said, doing what Ernst wanted to and wrapping his arms around the lanky boy.

Ernst returned the hug and was saddened by the feeling that a piece was missing when their embrace finally broke and Hanschen was forced to leave with his family.

That night, Ernst dreamt of being lost in Hanschen's arms.

**A/N So this chapter did not turn out like I thought it would, but it isn't horrible. I'm not entirely sure if they're completely right character-wise, but oh well. And I'm going to play with the time line again. And I have plans for the next chapter to include the wonderful vineyard scene! But I probably won't write it until next Fridayish because…**

**I FINALLY GET TO SEE THE SHOW IN WEDNESDAY NIGHT!!!!!!! SO EXCITED!!!!**

**And I already have a plan/reason to hug Blake (the tour Moritz, for all of you outside of the U.S.) Now all I need is an excuse to hug Ben (Ernst). Any ideas? **

**By the way, reviews are amazing and I love them. Almost as much as Spring Awakening. But not quite. Lol.**


	12. Chapter 12: News and a Kiss

**A/N: So, I apologize profusely for not updating in forever, but I DID get to go to Chicago and finally see the show!!!!!! That's what I'm using as my excuse. Lol. And I moved back to school, but I'm going to try to update every week until the story is finished (5 more chapters or so!)**

**I sadly don't own Spring Awakening otherwise Ben and Blake and Steffi and Andy and Krista (who is really nice) and the rest of the cast would hang out with me and I would travel with the show. **

Two days later, the boys were given minimal homework. Hanschen had to rush home to finish a few chores, so Ernst decided to go sit in the vineyard and wait for Hanschen to finish so he could finally learn the blonde's theories on life.

As he was sitting there, a familiar girl with long hair came into his view.

"Ilse?" Ernst asked.

"Ernst," Ilse said, turning around and seeing him. Her eyes were heavy with sadness, but a hint of her old sparkle returned when she saw him.

"What are you doing here? I thought you ran away," Ernst asked, glad to see his friend again.

"I came back," she said coming over to sit beside him.

"Do you know about…"

"I know," she said shortly. "I was with him just before he…"

St this, Ilse looked at the ground and Ernst saw a tear hit the ground.

"I saw him too," Ernst said in desperation to console her. He knew she had been great friends with Moritz in their childhood.

"I always assumed he would be the one I would marry."

"You would make a good match. You always have. It was like you parts of one whole."

"Yes. The plan was for Moritz and I to marry and for Melchior and Wendla to marry. But now, so much has changed."

"Not that much has changed," Ernst argued with her, knowing he was probably wrong. A dead friend was a massive change.

"Moritz is … gone. Melchior was sent away and now Wendla" Ilse stopped herself short when she mentioned Wendla.

"What is wrong with Wendla?" Ernst asked, concerned that another tragedy would hit them.

"She's with child," Ilse said quietly.

"How?" Ernst asked astonished.

"Her and Melchior…" Ilse began.

"I-I understand." Ernst said, stopping her. "Does Melchior know?"

"No. Wendla did not find out in time to tell him and she told me when I went to visit her just now."

"This is problematic. We should tell someone or find a way to tell Melchior."

"No. Wendla should tell him and no one else needs to know."

They sat there in silence for a few moments, consumed with their thoughts. It wasn't until Ilse saw Hanschen in the distance that either of them stirred.

"I should go," she said. "Father will want me home." She began to walk away.

"Ilse?" Ernst called after her.

She turned to look at him.

"Please be careful. And my window is always open for you to seek shelter."

Ilse walked back to Ernst and bent to kiss him on the cheek. "Thank you Ernst."

With that, she turned and walked away, passing by Hanschen as she went.

Hanschen approached and seated himself beside Ernst.

"What were you discussing with Ilse?" he asked, with an edge of concern mixed with curiosity in his voice.

"Nothing. How were your chores?" Ernst said, determined to keep his new-found information to himself.

"Boring as usual, but I am glad to be here now," he said with a smirk.

"As am I," Ernst said, reciprocating with a shy smile of his own.

They sat in silence, just enjoying being in each other's company and absorbed in their thoughts. It wasn't until the bells tolled that either of them spoke.

"Those bells… bells, so peaceful," Hanschen said, breaking the silence.

"I know." Ernst said. He decided to spill his guts to Hanschen about what his plans for the future were. "Sometimes, when it's quiet, in the evening like this, I imagine myself a country pastor. With my red-cheeked wife, my library, my degrees… Boys and girls who live nearby give me their hands when I go walking…" Ernst sighed as he voiced his future out loud for the first time.

"You can't be serious," Hanschen replied turning to face Ernst. "Really, Ernst, you're such a sentimentalist! The pious, serene faces you see on the clergy, it's all an act – to hide their envy." Hanschen scooted closer to Ernst, as if to emphasize his point or draw Ernst into his idea. "Trust me, there are only three ways a man can go He can let the status quo defeat him – like Moritz," Hanschen said, careful at mentioning Moritz. "He can rock the boat – like Melchior - and be expelled. Or he can bide his time, and let the system work for him – like me."

Ernst was so intrigued and captivated by Hanschen's musings that he did not notice that their legs were now touching.

"Think of the future as a pail of whole milk," Hanschen continued. "One man sweats and stirs – churning it into butter – like Otto, for example. Another man frets, and spills his milk, and cries all night. Like Georg. But, me," Hanschen paused, letting his words sink in. "I'm like a pussycat, I just skim off the cream…"

"Just skim off the cream…" Ernst repeated in an uncertain tone.

"Right," Hanschen replied with his air of certainty.

"But what about the?..." Ernst began but stalled when he saw Hanschen's eyes fill with laughter. "You're laughing. What - ? Hanschen?" Ernst asked, desperate not to lose Hanschen too.

Before either of them could realize what was happening, Hanschen leaned over and kissed Ernst on the lips. A jolt of electricity passed through them both as did the shock. But not before an "Oh God…" escaped Ernst lips.

Being Hanschen, he recovered quickly and responded with, "Mmm, I know. When we look back, thirty years from now, tonight will seem unbelievably beautiful."

"And in the meantime?..." Ernst asked, only knowing that he did not want this to end.

"Why not?" Hanschen said as he leaned towards Ernst again.

Knowing what to expect, Ernst closed his eyes to savor the kiss. Hanschen wrapped his arms around Ernst to pull him closer and Ernst did the same, though one of his hands was a little lower on Hanschen's torso than he anticipated. Hanschen noticed this and only pulled Ernst closer, deepening their kiss by forcing his tongue gently into the other boy's mouth. Ernst had to repress a sigh of desire and happiness as he gladly reciprocated the gesture.

A moment later, Ernst's brain finally woke up and caused him to pull away slightly. "On my way here this afternoon, I thought perhaps we'd only… talk," he said, trying to catch his breath and clear his head all at once.

"So, are you sorry we - ?" Hanschen began, a flicker of doubt and sorrow flashing across his face.

"Oh no – I love you, Hanschen. As I've never loved anyone," Ernst responded, taking hold of Hanschen's shoulders as he realized how true this statement was. He had never been closer to any than he was to Hanschen, with the exception of maybe Ilse.

"And so you should," Hanschen responded, his confidence returning.

Ernst leaned into Hanschen again, resting his head on the other boy's broader shoulder. He was not entirely sure what Hanschen meant, but he was pretty sure that he would find out soon enough.

"What do you say to a study session and slumber party combination, Ernst?" he asked moments later.

"But we have so little homework tonight," Ernst remarked.

"That is the point," Hanschen said, a mischievous grin spreading across his face. "I'm finding it harder and harder to keep my distance from you Ernst. I would miss you too much if I had to wait until school tomorrow to see you again."

"I suppose I could use some extra help with our homework tonight," Ernst teased. He knew that very little work would be accomplished now that he knew what kissing was like, especially with Hanschen within a foot of him.

Hanschen kissed Ernst on his forehead. "Why don't we get started then?" he suggested. "I will race you to your house."

"Deal," Ernst said as he jumped up. "Loser has to do whatever the other asks," he called behind him.

With that they raced off to what would no doubt be a very memorable night for them both.

**A/N: So… there it is. The lovely vineyard scene. Did you enjoy it? Lol. **

**So, seeing the show was beyond AMAZING!!!!! I wrote out every detail I could remember on my livejournal, so for the sake of everyone who doesn't want to hear me ramble, go there to read all about it! But I will tell you all that I DID hug BOTH Ben and Blake!!!! It was glorious!!!!!!!!!!! And I just flat out asked them if I could hug them. *sigh* I wish I had some kind of proof of this, but I sadly do not. I have many more insight/trivia facts that I could share, but I will save those for later chapters (of which there will be maybe 5 more, depending on how far I want to write past the musical). Sorry if you think this many chapters is too long, but thanks for reading anyways!!!! **

**Oh, and reviews are almost as lovely as seeing the show!**


	13. Chapter 13: Surprise

**A/N: So, I've been rather productive the last few days homework-wise, meaning I have some time to write!!! So, here it goes! (And I apologize for what happens. It gets a tad smutty, but it just came as I typed. Lol)**

**As always, I unfortunately do not own Spring Awakening, and if I did… well, it's probably best I don't. (Those poor boys would be in huge trouble and let's leave it at that. Lol)**

It was a close race, mostly because they did not want to be too far from the other. Hanschen, however, held up right before the end, allowing Ernst to win.

"I win," he said, as he grinned back at Hanschen. Both boys were slightly flushed from the run and Hanschen was almost sorry he let Ernst win. The things he wanted to do to Ernst at that moment were almost unthinkable. Almost.

"So you do," Hanschen replied after attempting to clear his head of the thoughts that were conquering his brain. "Shall we go inside?"

"Of course! After you," Ernst said, holding the door open for Hanschen. As he entered, Hanschen's hand skimmed across Ernst's stomach, sending sparks through them both.

Once inside, they noticed how quiet the house was. Sitting on the table was a note from Ernst's parents:

_Ernst,_

_We've gone with the Rillows to their country house for a party tonight. We will be back tomorrow afternoon. There is some bread in the kitchen, help yourself._

_Love Mama_

_Oh, and Hanschen is more than welcome to keep you company if you get lonely, but please behave._

Hanschen read this over Ernst shoulder and began to smirk devilishly once he read the last sentence. Ernst was his for the night, as was the house.

"Well, would you like to have a sleepover Hanschen?" Ernst asked, without thinking things through. "I mean, I do not wish for you to get lonely in your own house."

Ernst waited for a reply, but none came. He glanced around to find himself alone in the room. To his right, the door leading to the kitchen opened.

"I would love to," Hanschen said as he reappeared with two loaves of bread in his hands. "How about a picnic in your room?" he suggested.

"Ok," Ernst said, "but I do not understand why you would want to go to my room. It is a complete disaster."

Hanschen set the bread on the table and pulled Ernst into his arms. Taken by surprise, Ernst waited to see what would happen instead of following his hormones.

Hanschen's fingers traced down Ernst's face to his neck, all the way down to his lower back before Hanschen moved his hand back up to Ernst's face. His fingers laced with Ernst's hair as he pulled him into a kiss.

Somehow, deep down, Ernst knew what was in store for that night as he gave into the passion that quickly overcame him. All too soon, Hanschen pulled away the slightest bit to look into the other's eyes. He was clueless to the fact that the look of desire he saw in front of him was reflected on his own face.

Removing one hand from the dark-haired boy, Hanschen picked up one loaf bread and put it gently in Ernst's hands. As soon as he had grabbed the other, he headed towards the stairs that led to the boy's bedroom.

They silently set the bread on the desk next to Ernst's ever-open Bible. Once their hands were free, Ernst found his way back into Hanschen's embrace. Seeing that this was submission, Hanschen brushed a lock of hair away from Ernst's face.

"Are you sure?" he asked, knowing he would have to leave, but not wanting to, if the answer was no.

In response, Ernst gently laid a kiss against Hanschen's collarbone.

Not being able to hold back anymore as his head filled with all of the things he wanted to do to the boy, Hanschen picked Ernst up and forced him onto the bed. Their lips connected and their tongues danced together as one. Quickly, their clothing began to be shed, until all that was left was their undergarments.

Being on top, Hanschen paused to gaze down at Ernst's body. It was pale and on the thinner side, but there was still definition in his muscles. Ernst gazed back at the athletic Hanschen, who was much stronger than himself. The two let the tension build for as long as they could before they shed the rest of their clothing and continued their night.

Ernst woke the next morning with his head against Hanschen's bare chest and a hand stroking his hair.

"Good morning Hanschen," Ernst said with a smile as the previous night's events rushed back to him.

Hanschen looked down at him. "Did you sleep well?"

"Very well," Ernst replied.

"You must have, seeing how energetic you were last night," Hanschen said as he smirked.

"You were rather enthusiastic yourself," Ernst replied, knowing who would have woken up anyone within the house with their sentiments.

"Do you still love me?" Hanschen asked, quick to change the subject.

Before Ernst could answer, there was a knock at the window shortly followed by Ilse.

"Ernst," she began, "I need someplace to rest for a bit, may I …" She trailed off seeing Ernst in bed with Hanschen and their clothes strewn about the floor.

They just stared at each other for a few moments as they all took in their surroundings. Hanschen, in his typical manner, was the first to speak.

"Ilse, I know what this looks like…"

"Hanschen, all I'm going to say is that if you hurt him, I will come after you with a paddle," she replied before he could finish.

"I do not wish to hurt him," Hanschen said as he sat up and leaned towards Ilse.

"Good."

An awkward silence encompassed the room.

"Ilse?" Ernst finally said.

"Yes?"

"How… Why… You can sleep downstairs," he said, saving his questions for later.

"Thank you." With that, she headed towards the door. But before she completely left the room, she spun to face the two lovers.

"Just do not get caught," she said. "I would hate to lose anymore friends." Then she closed the door to give them some space.

They sat awkwardly for a few moments.

"I still love you," Ernst whispered as he leaned over to place a kiss on Hanschen's cheek.

Hanschen, unable to express his feelings, gave Ernst a proper kiss before they settled back into the bed to rest for while longer.

**A/N: So… how awful was it? I tried not to make it too smutty. **

**I have a few new ideas for stories that I'm going to attempt to start soonish (like this weekend), so be on the lookout for those (please!!!!!!!)**

**Random fact: When I saw the show, Moritz hugged Ernst first when he found out he passed, showing that they were probably friends. And then Moritz completely avoids Hanschen when he goes down the line. Just random observations. **

**Reviews are amazing and will help me write more sooner rather than later!!!!**

**Oh, and thanks for reading. I really do appreciate it immensely. **


End file.
